.

dear you,

i'm sorry
i take it back
i still hate you for it
but i'll ignore it
because it's you who said it
no one else.

.

dear you,

fuck off.
seriously.

what you gonna do to us this time?

its strange -

its strange how i always say to myself in the night that i'll update this in the morning because i have something i want to say, but in the morning i'm still thinking it but never update. well - at least you dont have to see my bad grammar that way. no capitals or commas in the right place. this is why i go to school (okay, so i dont listen because i am way to stubborn because i apparently know it all, but whatever)

its strange how my opinion can be solely based on someone else's opinion. like with a band or whatever. like sometimes i will honestly say "i really hate that band" but i still have them on my itunes library. i guess its just my opinion based on the people in the band. Like katy perry - she fails, knife crimes not funny so taking the piss out of people being angry about that is ridiculous. though, i guess i'll still listen to some of her music (kissed a girl is only funny when the blackout do it though) but i absolutely dislike her to the bone.
like my favourite band - which in this instance doesnt really matter - i love the musicians, but the singer, when he talks about this person, i will say to myself "why dont you just shut the fuck up". i guess that its only a little while until my rope breaks and my nerves are shot. its hard to be patient for a very long time.

i promise you i will become better in my own way. everything needs to change. this is all i need right now. credibility. ive started falling apart - im not savouring life. ive forgotten how good it could be to feel alive.

crazy as it sounds - you wont feel as alone as you feel right now.
thats what ive been told by people anyway.
i whisper those hollow sounds in your ear hoping that you could understand
this is just my take on your words
take every single piece and put it somewhere safe sweetheart

left this out -

i am fed up
i cant wait for 2008 to end - this may of been my worst year.
humiliation through many different ways will be the end of me.

sometimes i wish i couldnt think. that little voice in my head makes me want to punch myself. i dont get it.
the urge for a sleeping aid is evermore furious.
i do not need this. my thoughts will be the death of me actually.

wake me up when it jan 1st.
please?

oops

i let this go again.

open to anyone - if you think this is to you it probably isnt (unless it is)

i have done nothing
nothing to stop, nothing to aid, nothing to hold back.
the only thing i have done is give you advice
seen as though i like to follow the rules - and i believe that is verbatim - you do not listen to a word i say.
you have got yourself into this mess, please work your way out of it.
you never wanted my shoulder, and im not offering it again.
thanks for trusting me (one of your most secretive of friends that wouldnt tell a soul)
i am bored of you
grow old. die. possibly without me there.

yours disgustedly, j.

(ps. this is the end of you my friend, i cant forgive, i wont forget)

kisses on the wrong cheek

slap it to the other one

i just wanna feel attractive today
i love it but it hurts
i do it because you do it
i'm 'attention deprived' in my honest opinion.
it works for me
i can do it for as long as i want

x marks the scars, eh?

thank you for ignoring me

be careful what you wish for because you just might get it

staring at you
cant be true
hot top/press
think of you less
i never gave up

i wish i grew up a clean kid
i wish i grew up a superstar
always get ruined before you turn legal
thats fine with me

i want to do it
legs eleven/whatever - hidden
i love pain
threshold high

i hate watching people getting persecuted on tv
especially people i hold in high regards

but whatever, i guess i dont have a sense of humour.
haha.

when i grow up;