"you don't have to have a reason to live to stay alive."
i dont think thats true you know? i think that you need a reason to wake up in the morning, to get dressed, go to school/work/other.
i need to have a reason - maybe thats why its so hard to comprehend that some people can live without one.
the air in my lungs isnt enough for me to feel whole anymore. my chest cant contract to make enoughr oom for my lungs which need to be filled.
in
out
in
out
its not that easy.
My heart is not broken. there was never anyone to break it. not in that sense anyway.
your words hurt me every second of the day, you know that?I was reading this blog which i visit sometimes - its a nice read. some other people have problems but can push it aside to make room for the important things like respect for others and stuff (this is me rambling)
"i'm a sucker for true stories, i like fact over fiction. i think to me it somehow has a bigger impact when it's actually happened instead of somebody thinking it up. there's a book i read a few weeks ago that was a true crime story. this couple named the copelands hired homeless people from a nearby mission to tend their farms. not to mention open bank accounts and write bad checks to buy cattle with. back then, nobody really did bad check scans or had a way to ask a bank if there was really $35,000 in this account, they took each other's word. afterwards, ray copeland would then would kill the homeless men with a single shot through the back of the head. the longest they got to live was til the next cattle sell or til the checks came in the mail. ray copeland had no remorse about what he was doing and couldn't care less because it was like he almost felt he was doing the homeless a favor. one painless quick shot to the back of the head instead of making it day by day asking for change and hoping to catch a lucky break. actually, the truth is from what i can tell, ray didn't care about anyone but himself. not even his wife and children. ray, after years of writing bad checks himself and taking the blame, thought he finally had a flawless plan to fuck the system. luckily, one wise homeless guy caught onto the loopholes in the story, and got away. he immediately told authorities, who at first had trouble finding bodies and any proof of what they were told- but soon after did. now the couple is/was on death row. oldest couple to ever make it on there."
I agree that fact is nice to read, but i like to let my mind travel over the things i have never had.
have a nice night. stay safe. find a reason to live.
you are still on this earth. you probably have a home, have meals on the table at night. keep that in mind.
