i just want to be lonely

i just want to be lonely.

publicly

every eye on me.

it always comes back

i think im sick of saving myself.

star fish

youre not sorry

you never are

you head is so far up your arse its unbelievable 

this is the english way, but you wouldnt know a thing about that would you??

why cant i give up

why do we fall at your feet

why do we hate you?

i know the answer

do you?

i know running gets old in a way

I was too proud to call you that night
I couldn't run
I know running gets old in a way
You sure know how to make or break a day
Well, you just fled the scene
So hard to breathe

You think a lot about yourself so much
For someone who relies
On someone else's trust
I cower to your touch
You think I'd be the one to let go
So carry on

Thrilling to know
There is no control
She's got the soul of poet
And the fire of a bullet
She is what she is
Nothing less or unspoken
She don't love you no more
She's in love with a motive, yeah

This jealousy can't hold me over
I can't get mad
You know that anger gets all in your way
My jealous mind
It hates it but takes it
Those haunting memories
Are laced with secrets

Although I'm hard-pressed
To back from a fight
You think that this would end soon
But it's taking its time
Confusion, it is such an all-time bad written melody
Of course you'd sing
Please carry on

I actually took off the glasses and realised just how fake you are to everyone.

How can you forgive and forget. push over. back stabber. liar. there are many other words for girls like you

thinking about things that ive heard today

and open letter;

dear you,

you make it so hard for me to like you, you really do. i don't think you can get it through your thick skull anymore, that i need you to grow up. we're just youre friends which you hang around with when youre 'real' friends arent there. may i remind you why youre even friends with those people? me and her. me; i brought you into 'the group'. before then you were just a lonely sad kid who never came to school because you were too damn lazy. her; she introduced you to those friends. 

i'm not saying you should be on your hands and knees worshipping us. i just think that you owe us a little respect. i think that you should realise that even though theyre youre friends now, remember who were always there. 

and its not our fault that you dont tell us things and get pissed about it. that isnt our fault. it never fucking has been.

we burn liars and fakes on sticks, little girl. we will always pull you up on it. always. and you know that it hasnt been any different. since when did we let that go?

and now you go back to that little boy, and you expect us to accept that? the one that lied and cheated and broke all yours and two of of our friends hearts. and it doesnt matter whether they show it or not either. he was the one that said you and her should get your houses burnt down.

after this, i think im past caring, because i think that youve turned into a vile child.

"i'll take my stand, right here with my friends" and "heart means everything"

nearly 3 months

nearly 3 months and a lot of stuff hasn't changed. but then when i think about it everything has changed. 

i think the correct term would of been "nothing has changed for me"

yep, that's finally right.

i've gone past the subtle stage now

on a wire

I don't know. i guess i just have a strong sense of right and wrong.

i guess i just take things too personally

i guess i should make more of an effort

i guess i need to start and try make myself better

i guess i have grow up

i guess i think too deep

i guess i'm wrong.

you know i dont believe that. sometimes i do have a bit of narcissism showing through, but i have trust issues, paranoia issues, lying issues. actually, i guess i just have issues.

but you know youre not helping. except you dont. sometimes i think my brain is ten times older than my body, i cant help that.

the things that are injected into my mind. through tv shows, books, opinions. its not all my fault.

i hate you but i like you.

this is a predicament i cant seem to get out of.

its not always my fault. i know that.

i wish i had some guts just to do this to you.

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none

you will see.

it is not always my fault.